Jonathan Swift
The Furniture of a Woman’s Mind
A set of phrases learn’d by rote;
A passion for a scarlet coat;
When at a play, to laugh or cry,
Yet cannot tell the reason why;
Never to hold her tongue a minute,
While all she prates has nothing in it;
Whole hours can with a coxcomb sit,
And take his nonsense all for wit;
Her learning mounts to read a song,
But half the words pronouncing wrong;
Has every repartee in store
She spoke ten thousand times before;
Can ready compliments supply
On all occasions cut and dry;
Such hatred to a parson’s gown,
The sight would put her in a swoon;
For conversation well endued,
Ode on Science
O, heavenly born! in deepest dells
If fairest science ever dwells
Beneath the mossy cave;
Indulge the verdure of the woods,
With azure beauty gild the floods,
And flowery carpets lave.
For, Melancholy ever reigns
Delighted in the sylvan scenes
With scientific light;
While Dian, huntress of the vales,
Seeks lulling sounds and fanning gales,
Though wrapt from mortal sight.
Yet, goddess, yet the way explore
With magic rites and heathen lore
Obstructed and depress’d;
Till Wisdom give the sacred Nine,
Untaught, not uninspired, to shine,
By Reason’s power redress’d.
Cassinus and Peter
Two college sophs of Cambridge growth,
Both special wits and lovers both,
Conferring, as they used to meet,
On love, and books, in rapture sweet;
(Muse, find me names to fit my metre,
Cassinus this, and t’other Peter.)
Friend Peter to Cassinus goes,
To chat a while, and warm his nose:
But such a sight was never seen,
The lad lay swallow’d up in spleen.
He seem’d as just crept out of bed;
One greasy stocking round his head,
The other he sat down to darn,
With threads of different colour’d yarn;
His breeches torn, exposing wide
A ragged shirt and tawny hide.
